As a father, you know that your child is everything. Being a father can be the most rewarding and meaningful experience you will ever have.
Once you are a father – nothing can change that.
Why am I struggling as a father?
Has being a father affected your own well-being? Has it become difficult to meet expectations? Do you feel that you need to be everything your child needs, and yet you know you are not super-human?
There are new expectations. Some are exciting, and some are quite uncomfortable.
Along with the new gift of a child comes sacrifice and required change for you. As your child gets older, there are continually changing needs and expectations – and no one can keep up with these completely. This is especially difficult when you add on crisis, conflict, financial stress, your own personal needs not being met, and more.
What do I do about me?
And how much of this do you keep to yourself? Have you been able to let anyone in? Have you sought emotional support or guidance? This can come from many sources, but often as a father we have the hardest time following our own advice – that it is OK to come to another person for help.
Isn’t that what we really want our child to do? To come to us for help?
Being their role-model is an important part we play.
What if our child observes that we do not talk about feelings, do not seek support when we need it, and that we allow stress to build to a breaking-point?
Support a therapist can offer
When being a father comes to affect your own well-being, self-care, and availability to your child, it may be time to seek support from a therapist. Time to model good choices for your child.
Issues that can be addressed in a therapy office:
- Feeling isolated
- Separation from your child
- Difficulty finding an emotional connection to your child
- Your own depression and suicide prevention
- Anger management
- Therapy with you child
Although I do not provide custody evaluations for supervision of visitation, I can support you personally in individual therapy, to manage especially difficult situations:
- Coping with custody conflict
- Restricted visitation with child
- Being a teen father
I have provided short-term support and counseling, and longer-term coaching and therapy to dozens of young fathers. In my school-based role, I have been the one to provide the most support and intervention when parents are in conflict at their child’s school.
As one of few male support staff, I have been in a unique position to listen, provide empathy, and to validate the father’s experience. I have become an active part of the local network of supporting programs for fathers in Saint Paul. In my therapy practice, I am here to support fathers of all ages… from teen fathers to grandfathers.
I have three children of my own, ranging from elementary age to young adult. It’s more than tough, effects my own self care, and yet I would not change a thing.
I was raised by an amazing father, who was not perfect, and did not need to be. He also struggled with anxiety and depression while raising his boys. One of the most important things he did for me was seeking help for himself. Here we are 40 years later, and he still meets with the same therapist!
Give me that call, even if you are not sure.
Let’s talk and see what therapy might look like for you. It is confidential, a free consultation, and I hope it will be helpful.
Take the time to take care of yourself and your child.